Harry Potter and Company Go To New York City
by Kelso44
Summary: Um... nutty, goofy, and crazy. Read with caution. Includes Oops I Did It Again, opposite days, and a giggling Voldemort.


Harry Potter and Company Go To New York City  
by Kelso44  
  
"I won! I won! OH MY GOSH, I WON!!!!"  
  
"Slow down Hermione. What did you win?" Harry tried in vain to calm her down.   
  
"I called into this radio show, answered the trivia question correctly, and won a trip for ten to go to any place we want to go to in the world!" Hermione screamed. I want you, Ron, Lavender, Parvati, Sirius, Cho, Dean, Seamus, and... someone else to go."  
  
"Who?" Harry asked.  
  
"Er... you'll find out later," Hermione replied.  
  
"Whatever. Am I the first one you've asked?"  
  
"Yeah. Could you see if Ron, Sirius, Dean, and Seamus can go? I'll see about Lavender, Parvati, Cho, and, er... the other person."  
  
"WAIT! Did you say Cho is going?!"  
  
"Uh, yeah. Why?"  
  
"Oh... er... um... no reason. No reason at all. Well then I'll talk to you later. Uh, bye!" Harry hung up.  
  
"Hmm... that was odd."  
  
***IN THE AIRPLANE***  
  
"LADIES AND GENTLEMAN. May I have your attention please? We will be leaving shortly. We are just waiting for one more passenger. And here he comes now!  
  
And in walked... LORD VOLDEMORT!   
  
"Hey," Hermione said. "I didn't invite you!"  
  
"I know. I just felt like showing up. I have never really gotten to travel the world. Mostly the Death Eaters do that. I really am a deprived Dark Lord. Please can I come?" He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named gave Hermione a sad puppy dog face.   
  
"Weeeell..... I suppose you can. As long as you don't kill anyone."  
  
"YAY!!! I am so happy!" Voldemort jumped up and down clapping. "But don't tell anyone. It's not good for my image."   
  
"Ok, ok. Come on let's, like, get this show on the road!" said Parvati impatiently.   
  
"Where to?" asked Cho.  
  
"New York City!!!!" screamed Lavender.  
  
"NO! Miami!" yelled Ron.  
  
"Since Violet said New York City first, that's where we go." said the captain of the plane, whose name was Barney.  
  
"Um, my name is Lavender. Not Violet."  
  
"Oh. Sorry. I'm colorblind."  
  
" Uh, riiiight. New York City, here we come!!!!"  
  
"Why do we have to go to New York City? Miami is soooo much better!"  
  
"Shut up, Ron."  
  
*** In New York City ***  
  
"Oh my God! NYC! I love this place! What shows are we going to see? When are we going to shop? How are we ever going to be able to do everything!?!?!?" Lavender was a little bit excited (just a little bit).   
  
"I hate to tell you this Lavender, but we can only spend four days in a city." Hermione got ready to defend herself in case Lavender started attacking her.   
  
"WHAT?!?!?!?" Lavender shrieked. "There is no way on Earth I can only spend FOUR DAYS in NYC! it just isn't going to happen."  
  
"Well it is going to have to. Those are the rules of the contest." Barney told her.   
  
"URG! FINE!" Lavender went off and sulked in her hotel room.   
  
"So, where to first? Statue of Liberty? Central Park? Radio City Music Hall? What?" asked Sirius.  
  
" I WANNA GO TO FAO SCHWARTZ!!!" yelled Voldemort.   
  
"Uh... ok. Why don't we go eat some famous New York pizza?" suggested Harry. "I'm starving." So everyone except Ron, who was still sulking about the fact that they weren't going to Miami, went to a pizza shop called John's Pizza. Seamus ordered an extra-large Ricotta cheese pizza for everyone. No one liked it because they put WAAAAY too much Ricotta cheese on it and it was nasty. After that they just went around takin' pictures and all that jazz. That night everyone (including Ron) went to go see Les Miserables.   
"OH MY GOSH! THAT WAS SO SAD!!!! WAAAAAAH!!!!!" cried Lord Voldemort.  
  
"SHHHH!!!!!" Everyone said.   
  
"I CAN CRY AS LOUD AS I WANT TO!!!! AVADA KEDAVRA!" All the actors and actresses on stage were dead.   
  
Since everyone was staring now, the crew got up and left.  
  
"Great goin' Voldie! Just at the good part, too!" Dean was REALLY mad. So was everyone else.  
  
"Don't make me kill you too!" Voldemort raised his wand threateningly at everyone.  
  
"Then again I didn't really like it that much. Heheh..." Dean backed down, staring at the wand.  
  
***  
The next day everyone went on the tour of Radio City Music Hall. When they reached the part where you get to stand on the stage, Sirius started to sing "Oops, I Did It Again". The tour guide threw him out of the music hall. So he sat outside sulking until the rest of the group came out.   
  
"That was awesome!"  
  
"I know! Sirius you don't know what you missed!"  
  
"Just shut up! Don't rub it in!"   
  
"Geez! Ok..."   
  
After that everyone went to Central Park and messed around. Then, because Voldemort made them, the group went to FAO Schwartz.   
  
"I wanna get a big teddy bear!!!!" yelled Voldemort. After three hours of trying to figure out whether he wanted the black one or the brown one, Voldemort decided he didn't want a teddy bear. So he bought a life-size horse.   
  
"Giddy-up horsy!!!! WEEEEE!!!!!!!!"   
  
"Shhh!!! People are staring at you!" Cho tried to quiet Voldemort down.  
  
"ATTACK HER HORSY!!!!! ATTACK!!!!!"   
  
"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Cho screamed as the horse chased her for five blocks and then back.  
  
"MAKE THIS THING STOP CHASING ME!!!!!!" Cho yelled. Voldie just giggled.   
  
"VOLDEMORT...."   
  
"Ok, ok... I was just having some fun... Geez, you people are touchy..."  
  
The rest of the day they just walked around and did pretty much nothing. That night the group went to see Rent. Everyone loved it because it is the best musical ever in the history of the world. The end.  
***  
The next day Hermione suggested that they go see the Statue of Liberty. "Hopefully nothing horrible will happen there..." Little did she know that you had to ride a trolley to get to the Statue of Liberty...  
  
"Like, I do NOT want to ride a stinky trolley to, like, get to the Statue of Liberty!!!" whined Parvati.  
  
"I DO!!!! I DO!!!!" yelled Voldemort. He raced onto the trolley and immediately ran up to the top level. "I GET TO RIDE A BOAT!!!! I GET TO RIDE A BOAT!!!!" The rest of the group followed him.  
  
"Now DON'T do ANYTHING stupid!!!" Harry warned.  
  
"What? Like jumping over the edge of the trolley?" asked Lord Voldemort.  
  
"Yes. DON'T jump over the edge of the trolley!!!" said Harry.  
  
"Ok." And with that the Dark Lord jumped overboard.   
  
"STUPID!!! I TOLD YOU NOT TO JUMP OVERBOARD!!!!" Harry screamed.  
  
"But it's opposite day!!!!" Voldemort screamed back.  
  
"AAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!" Harry was getting VERY agitated. "I CAN'T STAND HIM ANYMORE!!!!!"  
  
"Calm down, Harry." Sirius said. "He is getting on all of our nerves. But the rules clearly state that once a person is on the trip they can't leave and no one can force them to leave. Well, unless he dies or something." Harry looked at Voldemort with a crazed look.  
  
"That can be arranged..." Harry said it like he meant it.  
  
"Uh-ooooh..." Voldemort apparated back on the boat. Then they all got kicked of the trolley for "disrupting the peace".  
  
After that everyone was so angry they just went back to the hotel and slept.  
  
***  
On their last day in New York City, it rained. So everyone put a Rain Repelling Charm over themselves and hung around eating and talking and such. That night they saw a show called The Dinner Party. It was a comedy starring John Ritter, Henry Winkler, Jan Maxwell, Veanne Cox, Penny Fuller, and a guy named Lou. Voldemort was laughing the whole time, even when it wasn't funny. Hermione had to put a Silencing Charm over him. After the show, the group went outside by the door and met everyone, got their autographs, and took pictures, except Voldemort because everyone was afraid of him. This made Harry feel sorry for him.  
  
"I am sorry that I threatened to kill you." Harry apologized.  
  
"That's ok. I get on my own nerves sometimes."   
  
***  
The next morning everyone loaded their stuff onto the plane.   
  
"That was like so fun!" Parvati exclaimed.   
  
"Miami would have been better."  
  
"Shut up Ron."  
  
"Well it's true!"  
  
SMACK!   
  
"OWWWWW! MY FACE IS RUINED!" screamed Ron.  
  
"Are you just realizing this, stupid?" asked Voldie, cracking himself up. "I just crack myself up!"  
  
Ron got so mad he threw Voldemort through the airplane window. Then there was a hole in the middle of the plane which everyone but Hermione and Barney, who were wearing their seatbelts, fell out of.   
  
After that, Hermione realized that she loved Barney and got up to go make out with him. However, that plan went awry when she fell through the hole, too.   
  
The pilot then landed the plane safely and was arrested for the murder of ten people. He lived a wonderful life in prison, becoming very popular and loved by everyone.   
  
THE END.  
  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own any Harry Potter characters. They belong to J.K. Rowling, our Goddess. "Oops... I Did It Again" belongs to that stupid lip-syncing blonde with implants (a.k.a. Britney Spears. Yuk.) . Oh yeah, and Horsy belongs to Voldemort... 


End file.
